Ad Absurdum

Well, what a singularly unmoving experience listening to that album was. It was definitely better back in The Smiths days when Morrissey kept to 10-track album format. Ten songs would be just enough here, twelve tips listening to WPINOYB (as the fans have already nick-named it) over the edge of this side of interesting to the other side of weary boredom.

Bad metaphors aside, though, there are two or three songs that are not entirely forgettable. "Istanbul" and "I Am Not a Man" come to mind first, but musically the album offers nothing new, nothing breathtaking. Let's face it, if it wasn't for Morrissey's name on the cover, the album would be forgettable.

Lyrically, it's no masterpiece either. I do worry (but only a little bit) that Morrissey has no idea what taxes are for. No NHS glasses for him (oh how quickly they forget).

And for the life of me, I can't understand what is the point in writing a song like "Staircase at the University" when all of this has been said before more eloquently and less heartlessly too. Well, at least it's catchy. Good luck with getting it on the daytime radio.
Funny thing about this song, though, it does remind one of The Smiths days or at least the better Morrissey-solo years. But back then the lyrics would have been better too.

"Kick the Bride Down the Aisle" makes even less sense. Moreover, it's not even musically strong enough to justify its existence in Mozzer's catalogue at all. I guess with such composers as Boz Boorer and co. some standards had to go. Pity that, really.

But wait. Wait a second. "Oboe Concerto" – does the bass (or everything else in that song) remind you of anything? It bloody well should because the bass is lifted almost directly from live intro to "Unloveable" and the whole song is a not-so-distant cousin of "Death of a Disco Dancer". I would almost call it a rip-off if I were feeling less charitable. Even the uncoordinated drum solo towards the end is the answer to Mozzer's piano tinkling back then. Jesus, for a bloke constantly saying that The Smiths are dead and well and truly buried under piles of resentment and corpses of NME journalists, Morrissey sure clings to that band. Oops sorry, group.

Anyway, apart from that brief spot of excitement, the songs are dreadfully sleep-inducing. I've never made it a secret that I don't like Morrissey's solo work and the further into his solo career the worse it was, so WPINOYB didn't disappoint me in the slightest. It's not entirely horrible, but it's not all that good. It's mediocre, lukewarm and not at all what a Morrissey album should be. Maybe he really should retire from music and start his career as a writer. Judging by his Autobiography he's at least good at it.


P.S. I have not listened to Johnny Marr's new solo work yet, but I'm sure it will be as unimaginative in the lyrics department and where-have-I-heard-this-before when it comes to music as The Messenger. I'm going back to Kajagoogoo.

Time for CD 2 of Please, Please, Please, a Tribute to The Smiths. Hm, it hasn't been a week since CD 1 - I must be tougher than I thought. All right, let's be brave then and without further ado, begin at the beginning:

1. Telekinesis - Sheila Take a Bow
Pretty similar to the original track except the vocalist has a whiny voice that brings to mind Liam Gallagher. Not an association I particularly care for, but that's a question of taste (or lack thereof. No sorry, I'm joking. Sort of. No, I am :) )
Otherwise this attempt falls rather flat, it has to be said.

2. Solvents - Is It Really So Strange?
Ouch, my ears. But I've never liked country, so the nicest thing I can say about this cover is that it's short. The melody is reduced to acoustic guitar, drums (a drum?) and a violin. And a guy singing into a metal bucket (seriously, the echo?). Oh, and then towards the end, a girl joins him in the chorus. What for isn't explained.

3. The Wedding Present - Hand In Glove
Damn, I like The Wedding Present, but I don't buy this version. Still, it's one of the better ones on this album. It's noticeably heavier than the original, full of distorted noisy guitars. Pity the bass line went out of the window, tough. The vocalist seems better suited for something other than this song too - there's something that just doesn't fit here.
I quite like the abrupt ending, though.

4. Mike Viola And the Section Quartet - How Soon Is Now?
As the name of the artist and the accompanying "band" suggests, this is indeed played entirely on strings. Quite interesting, especially how they did the "swamp" effect. And they even played the whistling :)
If only there was no singing. Then it might even be a bit more than bearable. The vocalist - Mike in question, I suppose - has got a really really annoying voice but, as always, you can't have everything.

5. Trespassers William - There Is a Light That Never Goes Out
Oh no, this is going to be a dirge. A slow dying in other words, considering the lyrics (see, see, a pun :) ) And this is probably just my problem, but I hate American accent in British songs. Even from a female vocalists with nice voices.
Also, the band probably are trying to put the listener to sleep. Quite humane of them, I'm sure, seeing as there are five tracks still left.
I don't know, some cover of this song could probably be good, but this isn't the one. There's no drama of the original, no passion. Remember the second verse? the one about "darkened underpass"? You can hear the hope and desperation and then quiet retreat in the words Morrissey was singing, in how he was singing. Here? absolutely nothing. The underpass is full of sleepy hipster kids, it looks like.

6. Girl In a Coma - Rubber Ring
Well, with a name like this, you have obligations. And what? And... you managed to surprise me.
This starts like another godawful country song until the vocalist starts singing. Then it gets interesting. I really like that woman's voice (Polish listeners may find it a bit similar to Monika Brodka. That's a plus, people). I could even go as far as to say I would love to hear more of Smiths songs sung in that voice, but the music would have to start being listenable as well. That might be a problem.
I like the ending - not as creepy as the original, which is actually good, and those whispers are great.

7. Elk City - I Know It's Over
At first it sounds like just a slightly cheaper version of Vini Reilly's guitar work. Then we have, umm, rhytmic pop. I do like the bass line here even though there's nothing left of Rourkey's sliding (forgive me, Andrew). A bit dance-y version - but fit for a decent indie disco - which is especially obvious in the chorus. And yet, despite all of that, I can listen to it without too much wincing. Amazing.

8. Katy Goodman - What She Said
You know, I'm starting to suspect the sole idea behind the music arrangements on this album was to make lullabies from the most energetic songs and vice-versa. I'm yawning for real now.
Also, I think the vocalist sings "what she read, all heavy books". Yes, she probably read encyclopedia, LOL.

9. Cinerama - London
Cinerama - the name actually sounds familiar. If I could only remember why. Anyway, maybe it's not that great a loss because listening to this cover doesn't inspire confidence in the band whatsoever. Remember what I said about the idea for musical arrangements here? that's right, another dirge. Only peppered with sound effects of a radio set being tuned (you know, the scratchy sound of foreign radio stations).
Whatever for, you ask? I have no idea. It doesn't add meaning to the song, it doesn't do anything actually beside being vaguely irritating. It's like the band got into the studio, got their hands on the sound library and took to it like a horse to hay.

10. Doug Martsch - Reel Around the Fountain
Oh. My. God. The drummer knows what he's doing. And the bassist too, somewhat (catch me, I'm gonna faint from shock). The guitarist indulges in wah-wah somewhere in the middle, but it can be forgiven.
This cover is probably the one of the most faithful to the original. The guys here don't try to make the song better / something terribly inventive / radically different / WTF is that? and it does them credit. It's a simple straightforward cover that gives you an idea why there can never be another band like The Smiths. Not for the lack of trying.


And thus we end our journey into this album's depths. Well, okay, it was more like splashing in a shallow kiddie-pool, occasionally encountering belly-upped fish, but you get the idea.

Good night and thank you.

Yep, updating with another post of dancing about architecture. Because I sometimes work night shifts and I've found the only thing that keeps me from falling asleep is listening to music.



Anyway, "Love At Absolute Zero" - I should've written something about this album and this group a long time ago. Such a lovely, little known band that released their debut album in 1999. And in the words of Allmusic journalists, it was "quite simply the best album of 1983, delivered 16 years after the fact". The description would be fitting except the music, despite being steeped in years past (and it can beheard, but wonderfully so), is quite a bit more modern, the usual and expected influences notwithstanding. And My Favorite deserve some recognition.

I first looked for something of theirs back when I just had to get my hands on Working Class Jacket (for an obscure Marr & Morrissey reference, no less :D ). And was quietly enchanted by the simple, unpretentious retro pop the group played.

The band's got two vocalists: a man and a woman and they make good use of it: their voices nicely contrast. And even if the guy is not the best singer in the world, the girl's got a disarming and seemingly naive vocal manner so they fit together beautifully, as heard for example on Absolute Zero which is the first track.

The whole album has some strange melancholy to it. Adolescent romance, "There Is a Light That Never Goes Out" and faint traces of Pet Shop Boys written all over the sound. It's quite endearing, really. There are very few weak songs, maybe only one or two, and the rest wins you with pretty melodies, shimmering guitars and cinematic storytelling.

Absolute Beginners Again begins with a heavy guitar riff, which is - ironically - the weakest part of the track and a totally unnecessary thing. Because at the heart of the song we've got a simple indie pop tune. Which is great.

The Truth About Lake Ronkonkama unfolds lazily into a chorus and fuzzy guitars and what sounds like pieces of dialogue from an old film or radio show.

Let's Stay Alive would fit right in a lineup for some indie disco from the early 90's along with the lyrics "in the impossible city the impossible popstar sings". Lovely bass there too.

And you could die for Modulate's guitar solo.

And Between Cafes is sleepy and has got some lovely saxophone and lyrics about a couple wandering through some town like "two filmless filmstars" and the boy saying he needs a diamond ring while his girl needs a speeding car. Where have I heard such twists before? :)

My favourite track is definitely Working Class Jacket, though. It has something of the atmosphere of films like "Pretty in Pink" and all the teenage kitchen drama stories of the 80's. Amazing in its seeming like a movie, really. And apart from all that, it's a great catchy tune.

And for finale You Belong With Us - slow and phantom-nostalgic.

End credits roll.

Oops, not good at keeping this account updated. But since I'm back in The Smiths camp, why don't I bore you with my scintillating thoughts about their albums too. Shall we start with The Queen Is Dead? Fair warning: not a shred of professionalism, only fanboyish squeeing ahead. I'm sort of done with writing seriously about Smiths albums because that's what I did for a few years on one of the music forums (discussions, discussions) and now it's time for the infatuated dork routine. Also, no points for guessing who's gonna be the object.



The Queen Is Dead - The fist track is something absolutely wonderful. Starting with the vocal sample from some 60's film (I used ro remember which one, but now I'm too lazy to check) and ending with that odd reverberating guitar clang. And the middle is pure beauty. Drumming is especially powerful (ooh that roll at the beginning) and yet not overbearing. And the bass line, OMG, the effing bass line. It sounds amazingly odd, as if it was an outro or some half-hearted plucking, but it works and works beautifully.
Also, Johnny's guitar - he really lets it shine in the middle part and, wow, that's almost a solo in there.
And of course, Morrissey's lyrics - oh so angry and oh so whimsical and oh at times funny too.

Frankly, Mr Shankly - is it music hall or vaudeville? Either way, it's one of the most unusual Smiths' songs. And the bass line accentuates the melody so prettily...
Morrissey in top form as well: classic line about writing 'bloody awful poetry' that would almost make you feel sorry for Geoff Travis if it wasn't so funny.

I Know It's Over - all maudlin and depressing, but sounding so lovely about that. The middle part stands out for it's sliding bass notes and Morrissey's classical whining (which I like, BTW). The outro could be a little shorter, but I'm not really complaining.

Never Had No One Ever - never really liked this particular song. Until the day I started to notice something else beside Mozzer's voice and lyrics, so a bit of acquired taste for me now. Very nice bass line and great drumming, which could be very straightforward and nothing to write home about, and yet Joyce manages to add his own little tricks.

Cemetry Gates - yes, I'm gonna be boring, but the bass line here is a thing to behold - lovely little melody, especially heard in the quieter parts of the song. Also, beautiful outro which may not seem like much but it is great.
Also, love the song for its sun-drenched funeral realism. There aren't many things that bring the joy to the old heart but a cemetery on a sunny day is one of them *is a creep*.

Bigmouth Strikes Again - fuuuuu, those shimmering guitars and the bass holding it all together - Rourkey's work on that one is outstanding. I repeat, OUTSTANDING.

The Boy With the Thorn in His Side - again not one of my favourites, but great guitars on that one. Also, drumming. Covers of this song (well, not only this one, to be honest) somehow never quite manage to capture Joyce's parts. Odd timing, playing against the bassist and unpredictable patterns. Seriously, The Smiths couldn't as for a better drummer to fit them.

Vicar in a Tutu - that bass *drools*. And the lyrics *grins*. And the delicate jangling of the guitar (notice how different it's from the bass line). And the driving/train-like drums. Definitely one of the favoutites.

There Is a Light That Never Goes Out - Andy's distinctive bass in the front is what actually drives the song. You can recognise the track instantly by the bass part alone. The middle contains one of the most beautiful (and recognisable) guitar parts. And who could forget Morrissey's words about that fated double-decker bus and a ten-ton truck? A true classic.

Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others - Hhnnnnngggh - that't pretty much all I'm capable of saying about this particular song. One of the most beautiful ones in The Smiths catalogue. The guitars - the strings barely touched and echoing. The bass - so many ghost notes it's unbelievable. And the melancholy of the melody which is oddly juxtaposed with Morrissey's playful lyrics, and yet they wind around one other to create something of a rare beauty.

And in the next post, I'm gonna have a go at "The Smiths Is Dead" - a tribute album by various artists. I bet you're all thrilled, aren't ya :)