Found another Smiths tribute album and finally had enough time to listen to it. I don't know why I do this to myself. I really don't. Anyway,
here's The World Still Won't Listen
I'm not sure if the totally inventive and original title should be a plus or not. Considering the contents of the album, it just might be.1. "Shoplifters of the World Unite" - Dare to Defy
I was a bit unprepared for the genre I stepped into (yes, people, it's a Genre Album), so I spent this first song with this exact expression: o_O.
Um, the song was fast. Yeah, that's probably best this that can be said about it.2. "London" - Down By Law
This one is similar to the original except for the guitar coda. The fact that you can actually hear the basisst is, of course, the highlight.3. "You're Gonna Need Someone On Your Side" - Anal Cunt
Two simultaneous reactions occur while listening to this one: LOL and WTF? Seriously, it sounds like the singer is in grave danger of spraining something (he also sounds like a prticularly annoying frog with a sore throat). I'm almost worried. Apart from that, you won't understand the lyrics if you haven't heard them before.4. "What Difference Does It Make?" - Subzero
Oh oh, I can recognise the beginning riff - that's always a plus. The vocalist isn't a plus, though. Interestingly enough, he also sounds like a frog with a sore throat but it's not as annoying as the previous one.
The bassist is crap, the chorus was changed, the harmony buggered off to parts unknown. All in all, a more pointless bleating has never been heard.5. "How Soon Is Now" - The Meatmen
First impression: WTF is this?
*25 seconds in*: Oh, it's 'How Soon... . Okay then.
The vocalist really got into this, though I'm pretty sure that in the first chorus he sings "I'm Ewan..." - I haven't laughed like that since track 2. The lyrics in the subsequent choruses were changed too - to more coarse and more with the image of 'fuck yeah, we're so fucking hardcore, man'. Yes, perfect for The Smiths cover, but it brings to mind Satanism for pre-schoolers just a bit more.6. "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" - H2O
This... is not bad actually. It does resemble the pop-punk Greenday aesthetics and the singer sounds like he's doing a parody of Mozzer's singing voice, but the drummer gives it all he's got and that's an attitude I like.7. "Handsome Devil" - Sweet Diesel
Well, at least the beginning is recognisable. The vocalist is a bit annoying (funny, I seem to see a pattern emerging here) and he also sings "a girl in the bush..." - NO HOMO, people, just so we're clear.8. "Bigmouth Strikes Again" - Slapshot
LOL, the band has got The Animal from the Muppets as their vocalist. Right, whatever floats your boat. You'll have absolutely no idea, though, what said vocalist is singing about (an educated guess would suggest the actual lyrics to "Bigmouth..." but you never know).9. "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Baby" - Screw 32
Another Mozzer-vocal impostor, but the cover is not the worst I've ever heard. Also, it is entirely possible the singer cries at the end. Emo *trololol*.10. "The Last of the Famous International Playboys" - Leeway
No idea why this one was included on the cover album since it's obviously Morrissey's solo era, but it too was murdered. The delivery and beat are very straightforward and this is not a compliment. The cover lacks the 'swing' of the original and if there ever was a time to mourn the lack of Joyce's drumming (as it almost invariably is with covers), it is now as well.11. "What She Said" - Youth Brigade
Another Moz impostor. The song is pretty OK, though the second verse is a bit of WTF musically. No, I don't know either.12. "Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before" - Vision
And here we've got a very nice day at the races, to use a quote (faster, man! Faster!). The bassist was all right, at least he tried, even though it didn't amount to much in the end. In a word: not the worst, though that instrumental bit in the middle was pretty unnecessary.13. "Half a Person" - Edgewise
Hm, this one sounds rather threatening. Brings to mind a mass murderer with a grudge, actually.14. "Panic" - The Business
Wouldn't know it's "Panic" without the lyrics. But it did have rather nice Slide-like, well... guitar sliding.
Also, the singer's accent is rather endearing. But it does not make the song a good cover.15. "Sweet And Tender Hooligan" - 59 Times the Pain
Ow, my ears. The vocalist is a complete waste of time. The bassist tried to save the song and if you're feeling charitable you might say he succeeded a bit.16. "This Night Has Opened My Eyes" - Home 33
Hm, and people pay to see their gigs? Seriously? Wow.
The band try their best to erase anything that resembles melody and harmony from the song. I don't know what it ever did to them.
The bassist heroically tried to save it. Didn't quite succeed. R.I.P.17. "There Is a Light That Never Goes Out" - Walleye
Oh, you can recognise the song from the very beginning. How thoughtful. And the song is not entirely horrible. The vocalist gets a tad hysterical, but at least he sings what was written.18. "Back to the Old House" - Lament
OMG, something slow and it looks like it's gonna stay this way. This is actually pretty good as far as the covers go, but then again, it's very straightforward and very close to the original.
And that is all. Thank God because I don't think I could take much more.
The review was first published in "Shopliftersmag" - an online Smiths fanzine that you can check out on: Google Docs